Today, I’m pondering my top three tips for mental wellness.

• My top tip is BALANCE…we must balance what we THINK, DO, and EAT. If we stay consciously connected to our minds and bodies, we can practice and achieve moderation—balance.
• The second tip is forgiveness of self and others. Don’t hang on to hurt. Let it go, let it be. If you do something stupid—know everyone else has too, so cut yourself some slack. Same with others—we all have bad days. It’s often about them and not always about you.
• One of the most important, that is hard to remember and to implement, is to SAY THE WORDS. Do you expect someone to know what you want or need without telling them? That doesn’t work. They cannot read your mind, and if they read between the lines, you run a huge risk of them misinterpreting. Our friends, partners, and family are not magicians—they need your WORDS get your message clearly.

Let’s take breaking up with a love relationship. In a nutshell: If you don’t want to date someone anymore, don’t lie or make excuses to soften the blow; tell it like it is in your own words, and do NOT have your hand on their knee or your arms around their neck. Nothing is worse than double messages. (What you do doesn’t match what you say)

It’s called passive aggressive. An example: You don’t tell them you like someone else, or you don’t feel the same about them, but instead, you let them see you holding hands with someone else at the county fair. That’s disrespectful on your part. Another example: When you want out of a marriage, instead of saying so, you have an affair—passive aggressive.

It takes courage to be truthful and honest—not to play games, but the rewards go far beyond the fear.

Saying truthful words takes practice. We are often taught, through consequences, to stretch, minimize, or withhold the real story. Kids might lie to avoid punishment for sneaking the cookie before dinner, but adults don’t have such convenient excuses. First, we are grown, have learned lessons throughout life, and hopefully, have a sense of self-respect and consideration for others.

Being lied to is painful. If you find yourself in a relationship where you can’t tell the truth or your partner doesn’t share the real story, run like Lucy chasing a squirrel—it’s not a compatible partnership. Practice saying your true words—it improves performance.

There is great freedom and earned trust in saying truthful words, and the best reward is never having to remember the fabricated excuses you made up.

Truly—true love, trust, and respect are not possible if wrapped in false information.

Until the next time: Live while you live