What do you do if something extraordinary happens to you–out of the blue? I ask because such an event landed in my checking account on March 10th. I don’t need to describe the boring details, but it involved Social Security. (SS) My reaction was similar to the loss cycle: bargaining, denial, anger, depression, and then acceptance. Initially, I thought, “What? This … [Read more...]
Stress is the culprit
Stress is the culprit Every person is born with the ability to be intimate and to make changes. If true, why does every person not make needed changes and experience rich intimacy? If it is possible, why not just do it? What holds us back from having rich, intimate relationships with people we really care about? The answer is stress. No matter our age, stressful … [Read more...]
Behavior, not anger, needs management
Behavior, not anger, needs management We’ve all heard of “Anger management.” Anger does not need to be managed; it is the behavior attached to the anger that needs to be managed. Anger is an emotion just like worry, love, or excitement. There are dozens of definable emotions and anger is just one of them. We all feel anger, and it is the behavior accompanying anger that … [Read more...]
Challenges contribute to mental health
Challenges contribute to mental health My “Bucket List” included being a bartender. So, I enrolled in a Bartending Academy. It was a grueling, 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., ten day class. I surprisingly passed both the written and speed tests and was awarded a certificate. Whew! You might ask what this has to do with mental health. It has to do with challenging our brains, our … [Read more...]
Use it up, wear it out…or do without!
Use it up, wear it out...or do without! I did not live through the great depression, but during that period of history, 1929-1939, frugality was considered a virtue, and the phrase, “Use it up, wear it out, and make it do, or do without!” was the guiding principal in most households. Those were the years when nothing was wasted. Women sewed clothes for the family, and then made … [Read more...]
Mental health – a good sense of self
Mental health - a good sense of self We teach people how to treat us. When friends, family, or strangers treat us rudely, invisibly or judgmentally it is because we let them. Internally, we do not believe we deserve to be treated with esteem and respect. Good mental health begins with a good sense of self. We need a healthy self-esteem, boundaries that are self-protective, … [Read more...]
Happiness originates in thoughts
Happiness originates in thoughts Mitch Albom in “Have a Little Faith” states that happiness is being satisfied and grateful; the priest said happiness is living the Beatitudes; Wikipedia defines happiness as a state of mind characterized by contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy; Socrates thought a man must be honest and honorable to be happy; Benjamin Franklin said, … [Read more...]
Speaking from the heart is essential
Speaking from the heart is essential Will Rogers once said, “Never miss a good chance to shut up.” That does not work if you are trying to have a good relationship. If you want to be close to your spouse, or your children, or your friends, you must speak the truth of what is going on inside you. Lack of effective communication skills is the basic problem facing every couple, … [Read more...]
Focus on solutions not problems
Focus on solutions not problems Everyone has problems. A problem exists when what we have (reality) collides with what we want (desire). It can relate to anything; relationships, finances, parenting, employment, etc. The problems can be very complex, but the solutions to those problems are often basic and simple. I recently edited a book that was focused on identifying … [Read more...]
Don’t allow an addiction to destroy your story
Don’t allow an addiction to destroy your story I've never claimed to be an addiction counselor, but I have seen and experienced the hurt and destruction caused by addiction. Addiction can ruin, dilute, disguise and even kill a person. It can do the same to friends and family. It can make a person and the people around him/her feel dark inside. It is not a good thing. One can … [Read more...]
Anxiety – challenging but not deadly
Anxiety - challenging but not deadly When a person experiences a tight chest, rapid heartbeat, tense arms, sweaty hands, inability to focus, and even fear of dying, it might be anxiety. If you are experiencing these symptoms, first go to your medical doctor to make sure your symptoms are not caused by a physical ailment. This will give you accurate information that is not … [Read more...]
Stress can be associated with anything
Stress can be associated with anything Stress is a word we hear everyday. In my counseling office it was used when discussing anything from hospital visits, guests, parenting, exams, relationships, diets, employers, money, illness, entertaining, holidays, etc. Stress is an emotion that can be associated with anything we do. Stress does not come only from negative events. It … [Read more...]
Speaking from the heart is essential
Speaking from the heart is essential Will Rogers once said, “Never miss a good chance to shut up.” That doesn’t work if you are trying to have a good relationship. If you want to be close to your spouse, or your children, or your friends, you must speak the truth of what is going on inside you. Lack of effective communication skills is the basic problem facing every couple, … [Read more...]