We need to come out of the closet I recently listened to a presentation by Ash Beckham titled, “Coming out of your closet.” Her message was relevant for all of us. Following is my rendition of what she said: The term, coming out of the closet, is usually used in reference to the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender, or LGBT communities, but we all hide in closets … [Read more...]
Be the person you want a kid to be!
Be the person you want a kid to be! Adults can learn from rules on children’s poster I recently visited my grandson’s school and the poster of rules caught my eye: • Always be respectful • Don’t talk when someone else is talking • Raise your hand – don’t shout out • Keep your hands to yourself • Don’t hurt others • Have fun • Learn • Treat others how you want to be … [Read more...]
Stress is the culprit
Stress is the culprit Every person is born with the ability to be intimate and to make changes. If true, why does every person not make needed changes and experience rich intimacy? If it is possible, why not just do it? What holds us back from having rich, intimate relationships with people we really care about? The answer is stress. No matter our age, stressful … [Read more...]
Learn to make wise decisions
Learn to make wise decisions Being the forth child born in my family, I didn’t have to make many decisions. I was happy letting my sisters tell me what to do as long as I could tag along and enjoy myself. As an adult, life does not allow that luxury. Everyday we are expected and required to make decisions: When do I get up? What do I wear? What do I eat? How long can I read … [Read more...]
Dreams provide insights and lessons
Dreams provide insights and lessons Go ahead, think I’m weird, but my idea for this article came from a book I saw in a dream. The cover was white with pastel random flowers and one small white chair. The title of the book was, “One Little Chair.” When I woke up the image was so vivid that I wondered if it was a child’s book I was supposed to write. That was a fun … [Read more...]
Chinese wisdom-To learn we must forget
Chinese wisdom-To learn we must forget There are times when life is very difficult. Disappointment and hurt can accumulate. Few of us fully grieve each loss we experience. Bad things happen to good people. Fairness does not always rise to the top. As with people, life is not perfect. On a trip to China, a wise young woman said to me: “To learn we must forget.” … [Read more...]
What do you want in your eulogy?
What do you want in your eulogy? We know for sure that we all will die. We don’t get to choose how or when, but one guarantee is that we will. I want you to think about how you want to be remembered after you die. When your eulogy is being read, what do you want it to say? There are hundreds of ways one could be remembered: famous actor; gentle grandparent; best farmer; … [Read more...]
Behavior, not anger, needs management
Behavior, not anger, needs management We’ve all heard of “Anger management.” Anger does not need to be managed; it is the behavior attached to the anger that needs to be managed. Anger is an emotion just like worry, love, or excitement. There are dozens of definable emotions and anger is just one of them. We all feel anger, and it is the behavior accompanying anger that … [Read more...]
Challenges contribute to mental health
Challenges contribute to mental health My “Bucket List” included being a bartender. So, I enrolled in a Bartending Academy. It was a grueling, 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., ten day class. I surprisingly passed both the written and speed tests and was awarded a certificate. Whew! You might ask what this has to do with mental health. It has to do with challenging our brains, our … [Read more...]
Wanting to belong stretches boundaries
Wanting to belong stretches boundaries If you say, “Yes” when you want to say “No!” you need better boundaries. If you don’t stop or step out of a bad situation, you need better boundaries. If you sense that someone expects you to give them your last dollar or the only ten minutes you have free all day, you need better boundaries. If you are more concerned with someone … [Read more...]
Use it up, wear it out…or do without!
Use it up, wear it out...or do without! I did not live through the great depression, but during that period of history, 1929-1939, frugality was considered a virtue, and the phrase, “Use it up, wear it out, and make it do, or do without!” was the guiding principal in most households. Those were the years when nothing was wasted. Women sewed clothes for the family, and then made … [Read more...]
Mental health – a good sense of self
Mental health - a good sense of self We teach people how to treat us. When friends, family, or strangers treat us rudely, invisibly or judgmentally it is because we let them. Internally, we do not believe we deserve to be treated with esteem and respect. Good mental health begins with a good sense of self. We need a healthy self-esteem, boundaries that are self-protective, … [Read more...]
If all else fails, try compassion
If all else fails, try compassion What is your reaction if your spouse yells at you, your child says s/he hates you, your co-workers exclude you from after work events, or someone defames your character with lies? If you react within a normal range, you probably feel terrible; fear, frustration, hurt, or unfairness. You might want to retaliate, hurting them … [Read more...]
Happiness originates in thoughts
Happiness originates in thoughts Mitch Albom in “Have a Little Faith” states that happiness is being satisfied and grateful; the priest said happiness is living the Beatitudes; Wikipedia defines happiness as a state of mind characterized by contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy; Socrates thought a man must be honest and honorable to be happy; Benjamin Franklin said, … [Read more...]
Trapped In an Abusive Relationship?
Trapped In an Abusive Relationship? Last article from the American Counseling Association - Honoring April: Counseling Awareness Month Relationship abuse is more common than most people realize. The National Domestic Violence Hotline reports that as many as twelve million women and men in the U.S. were the victims of such abuse last year. Reportedly, about one in four women, … [Read more...]