We are the writers of our character

As an author, I often browse blogs and podcasts about publishers, editors, and agents. One publisher said she was looking for non-fiction (which is what I write) containing authority, authenticity, and empathy. Editors look for accuracy in form and content. Agents look for social media exposure, a wow factor, and previous success.

A Chopra meditation on self-acceptance focused on themes similar to novels and memoirs worth publishing. To be healthy in mind, body, and spirit, we need to trust ourselves, be okay with who we are, and be able to step into someone’s shoes. We need to continually learn and allow pats on our backs when we improve.

Fiction and non-fiction books, and movies based on true stories or fiction, all contain characters just like you and me. The good ones speak with authority only when they know what they are talking about, are honest and trustworthy, and care about others—they don’t believe the end justifies the means. The bad guy might get the attention, but we cheer for the good guy to win.

What does any of this have to do with mental wellness? My answer is, “A lot.”

Most of us wake up and do our best to have a positive and productive day. Each day or task progresses better if it starts with something uplifting and we have good reasons to get going. Having a goal, project, or idea is what it takes for me, along with making healthy choices.

Imagine your favorite character in a movie. I especially admire Meryl Streep. She is usually intense, a little overzealous, and one who survives the potholes of life. She gets the parts editors, agents, publishers, and directors love. They are anxious to invest their time and money into her and her roles.

We all like to win and are often attracted to the bad guy who wins, even when dishonest, immoral, and criminal acts lead their path to success. They can become our heroes; if we don’t have a clear footing, they can become the person we want to see in the mirror.

It takes conscious effort to grow into the character we want to sleep and wake up with. It’s hard work. If we flail around each day, the months turn into years, and the authentic person with authority over themselves and compassion for the struggles of others can fade into the horizon. Like writing a book that turns into a movie, it takes expert advice, many re-dos, and a clear understanding of the story’s main hero—you.

Whether fictitious or real, meaningful character development does contain authority, authenticity, and empathy, we are the writers of our character.

Until the next time: Live while you live.

Jennifer Goble, Ph.D., LPC, is the author of “My Clients…My Teachers,” and the blogger and writer of Rural Women Stories: www.ruralwomenstories.com.