We need to come out of the closet

I recently listened to a presentation by Ash Beckham titled, “Coming out of your closet.” Her message was relevant for all of us. Following is my rendition of what she said:

The term, coming out of the closet, is usually used in reference to the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender, or LGBT communities, but we all hide in closets sometimes in our lives. Coming out of the closet involves having a hard conversation; one that others might not approve or embrace – even ridicule or condemn.

It takes a hard conversation to free us of the secrets or forbidden truths that keep us imprisoned in our metaphoric closets. In essence, being in a dark closet, peeking through a peep hole, and not living fully, is about fear; fear of rejection or punishment, and/or fear of exploding if we remain silent. Some examples where a hard conversation is needed: Wanting a divorce; disclosing a cancer diagnosis; admitting to infidelity, pregnancy, addiction, bankruptcy, or a criminal act; quitting a job or dropping out of college; asking for a deserved raise; or confronting prejudice and bulling. The list is endless and everyone’s “hard” is valid.

It takes a ton of courage to come out of the closet, but we cannot live while we live if we don’t. Closets are no place for a person to live.

There are three important steps to coming out of the closet:

• Be authentic – you will get real responses, so be real when you say the words.
• Just say it – you can deal with consequences and rebuild relationships easier and healthier than you can live in a dark closet.
• Be unapologetic – you are telling the truth. Be sorry for what you did, never for who you are.

The mental wellness that follows any hard conversation is invaluable. Even if the consequences involve loss of love, respect, and livelihood, being true to ourselves and sharing who we are and owning what we do, is the greatest foundation for a new day in the sunshine.

I don’t want to get philosophical, but you are the best you have. Have courage, be real, say the words, and come out of the closet; you are far bigger than a closet!

Until the next time: Live while you live