A high school friend I haven’t seen for years texted me this week and asked, “Is your life interesting?” I answered, “My retired life is a lot of work, strange, and boring.”

Had it been a phone conversation, I might have explained more thoroughly. First, it is a lot of work because what I do is totally up to me—with no obligations, my days are long. Second, it is strange because I am unaccustomed to not having a long-term purpose or creative project. Third, Bored people are boring, and I set higher standards for myself.

My question is, “Why?” And I answer myself (Lucy doesn’t answer my questions) by thinking, “Shame on you! You don’t have an excuse for having one day that is too much effort, strange, and boring.” The truth is, to quote Jimmy Buffett’s lyrics in Margaritaville: “It’s my own d_ _ _ fault.”

I don’t know about you, but it is time to have a heart-to-heart conversation with my unvarnished self. It’s necessary now and then. Sometimes, we need mental adjustments—a gawking session with the mirror, looking straight into the eyes of the person who is to blame. Finger-pointing at someone else is unrealistic because it isn’t someone else’s fault.

A mentally healthy person can be honest. I was truthful with my friend, and my answer was a wake-up call: “Jennifer, get it together. You need a plan!”

Here’s my plan—my self-talk to-do list:

Every morning, look in the mirror and say, “Today is going to be a great day because I said it will.”

Do something different today—change up your routine.

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT waste this day—you will not get it again.

Get out of the house.

Plan a trip, even a day trip, could be so much fun.

Service your car so you’re ready and able to take off on a whim; do the same with yourself—get up, get dressed, get ready.

The total number of new book titles released annually is around four million—so

READ—learning is liberating.

Walk, walk, and then walk some more.

Bake and cook and share with your neighbors.

Drink less wine and eat more chocolate—or vice versa.

Draw/paint, embellish a picture.

You have friends; make sure they know you care about them.

Clean your house inside and out—the one with no windows or doors.

Remember, you might be old, but you’re not dead yet.

So, dear readers, those are my thoughts on this beautiful March 2024 morning. We can be our worst enemy or our best friend. I doubt any of us need more enemies, especially one who greets us each morning from the mirror above the sink.

Until the next time: Live while you live.

Jennifer Goble, Ph.D., LPC, is the author of “My Clients…My Teachers,” and the blogger and writer of Rural Women Stories: www.ruralwomenstories.com.

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