I felt a twinge of stress when I wrote the title for this article: “Twenty-one days until Christmas.”

December 25th should, would, and could be the joy of baking, the process of shopping and wrapping, and the excitement of friends and family getting together—all in anticipation of what we imagine as the most fantastic day of the year. Unfortunately, on Christmas day, we often want to say, “I’m exhausted. Don’t ask me to do one thing!” Not exactly a Hallmark movie.

When I was a kid, Christmas Eve was stressful. Mother would have this fabulous feast prepared, and the house would be full of aunts and uncles. We were not allowed to open presents until dinner was over, and my mother and aunts had washed and put away the dishes. Dinner was always late because we couldn’t eat until my dad got home from the annual VFW eggnog party. Usually, dinner became cold, Mother became colder, and we kids grew louder and less patient—we wanted to open packages.

Christmas morning was more fun. My sisters and I were excited as we ran to the living room to see what Santa left. He knew exactly what we liked because he always filled our stockings with nuts, orange candy slices, chocolate bonbons, and a real orange.

I remember the Christmas when Santa left each of my four sisters and me a bride doll. One sister recently confessed that she swapped the doll under her stocking with the one under our older sister’s stocking. She said, “It was bigger and prettier.” When she went bouncing into our parents’ room to show them her doll, they were, to say it mildly, surprised. I smile when I think about her little concrete mind thinking, no one saw me, so no one knows.

After the excitement of the Santa gifts, my parents, with much loud passion, discussed whether we would go to Daddy’s family’s house for Christmas dinner, or to Mother’s. Looking back, I wonder why they didn’t discuss the topic before it was time to leave the house. It was very stressful for this little girl.

I share this personal story to emphasize that memories are grown from events that evoke emotions—good or bad. That’s why we remember Christmas happenings, and not the story of President Garfield.

We have 21 days to plan a pleasant, joyful, Jesus-kind of Christmas. We can choose activities and behaviors creating warm fuzzy feelings or those sure to invite anxiety. Kids might remember a few gifts they received, but they will certainly retain memories of what is stressful or genuinely loving.

Plan the next twenty-one days with your end goal in mind—building happy memories. Don’t miss this excellent opportunity to contribute and enhance your story and those of the ones you love.

Until the next time: Live while you live.

Jennifer Goble, Ph.D., LPC, is the author of “My Clients…My Teachers,” and the blogger and writer of Rural Women Stories: www.ruralwomenstories.com.

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