The world needs fathers who have come alive

Theologian Howard Thurman (1899-1981) said, “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” (Not using illegal, immoral, or unethical options)

Father’s day is Sunday, and I think kids need dads (and moms) who have come alive: Dads who like themselves and model self-acceptance to their children.

Being a dad (or mom) is hard work, and I don’t believe any parent is 100% confident in their parenting skills. Many dads feel inadequate when it comes to knowing what is best for their kids. They can duplicate their father’s parenting style, which isn’t always desirable, they can read parenting books, which doesn’t usually fall in their top ten list of things to do, or they can trust their gut and believe being real is often the best strategy. A balance of all three—parenting as they were parented, learning tried and true skills, and following their instinct— is a good option.

I believe all dads care about their kids and want to influence their values, behaviors, and future. I also think many dads are afraid to take on the challenge because they fear criticism, rejection, or patience. We do seem to live in a culture of judgement without trial.

I say to all dads, “Take on your job of parenting just as you do your income producing job. Roll up your sleeves, put on a good attitude, and do your best!” Every job starts with insecurities, but each day brings more success and therefore improved confidence. Before you know it, you feel like a contributing employee; your stress decreases as your enjoyment and productivity increases.

So it is with being a dad. If you are persistent and consistent, you will find yourself coming alive with hope, competence, and rewards. You and your kids will benefit.

I want to be around vibrant people who enjoy life. Your kids do too. Don’t leave your best self at the front door. Greet your sons and daughters with optimism, appreciation, and acceptance. What gets you ahead in the world of work carries the same influence with kids.

Just like your job, where you could get fired, your kids might not grow to be the productive, responsible adults you envisioned. But, if you come alive for them and demonstrate what they can become, you have given it your best shot. That is always as good as anyone can do.

Happy Father’s Day! You are all vitally important!

Until the next time: Live while you live.