I heard this quote on a YouTube video: “If you saw yourself the way that the people who love you see you, what a beautiful world that would be.”  Isn’t that the truth?The quote reminded me of a Valentine’s Day when I was teaching. I gave each student a large heart cut from construction paper, a business-size envelope, and a ballpoint pen. I said, “Each of you write your name at the top of your Valentine, and I will tape them on your backs.” When the hearts were in place, I said, “Mingle around the room and write something positive about each person on their heart.”  When they finished, I instructed them to fold their hearts in half, slide them into the envelopes, and read them when they were alone.

I saw one of those students years later, and she told me she still had that heart, and she read it when she needed a boost.

It makes me think of my mother. I knew when she passed, and I still believe it today, that nobody will ever light up when I walk into a room as she did. She loved me, and I wish I had her list of how she saw me.

On the same note, I read a Facebook tribute a daughter wrote about her mother after she had passed. It was touching, and I hoped she had told her mother all the wonderful ways she saw her when she had the chance.

The truth is, we don’t know how someone sees us unless they tell us, and I’m not talking about appearance or financial means; I’m speaking to character, talent, and actions.

I practiced the idea. I wrote down the positive attributes about a person and then shared my thoughts with them. I don’t know for sure how they received my words, but I spoke with truth and sincerity, and I know I will be forever grateful I didn’t keep my sincere and complementary observations to myself.

I imagine you, too, can identify with a dear one who has passed, and you didn’t tell them how much they meant to you. Take that chance now, with the living. If not now, when?

Do it with each other—your special friend, your spouse, or your children. Keep it positive and heartfelt, and I’m thinking the result will be rich for you both.

Yes, what a beautiful world it would be if we saw ourselves the way that the people who love us see us.

It’s worth a try. The risk is low, and the benefits could last forever.

Until the next time: Live while you live.

Jennifer Goble, Ph.D., LPC, is the author of “My Clients…My Teachers,” and the blogger and writer of Rural Women Stories: www.ruralwomenstories.com.

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