I hope Valentine’s Day satisfied your expectations. It could have increased your gratitude list and added an ah-ha or aww moment. Whichever, I hope this February 15th finds you shaking off disappointments and embracing whatever love floated your way.

Valentine’s Day is in the rearview mirror, and now is a reasonable time to bring up the topic of appreciation—specifically, self-appreciation. I repeat daily affirmations to help each day start with a can-do attitude. I also speak my “Thank you’s” at the end of each day, and go to sleep with a meditation app. But I need to work on self-appreciation. Like many people, I’m hard on myself.

Appreciating others is easy, but turning the table on myself is challenging. It takes searching and digging to identify what I esteem about myself. Part of being mentally healthy is being humble, and being humble is not about under or overvaluing myself. It is about honest reality—owning my shortfalls and my positive traits.

Try it for yourself. Draw a line down the middle of a sheet of paper; on the left, list what you appreciate about others, and on the right, what you like about yourself. The left side is a ton more accessible. The right side should be easy, but I am better at identifying my shortcomings. As you make your list, include your actions and attitudes, and remember your body. Maybe it’s your eyebrows, iris color, straight toes, or strong fingernails. Most of us are champions at criticizing our bodies, and we all benefit by remembering every single body has characteristics worthy of appreciation.

Every day, my side of the list feels truer; because of that, I am more able to appreciate myself as I experience the day. For example, I know I treat Lucy gently, so I am more aware of my kindness in other situations. What we focus on grows, and appreciation, when in my awareness, overflows into many facets of ordinary routines.

If I appreciate you and me, it helps me notice what needs adding to the list. The black-and-white visual reminds me of things Irate high and the absence of things I would like to include but honestly can’t. With that knowledge, I give myself kudos, plus I see what is needed for self-improvement.

Yesterday, Valentine’s Day, reminded me how loving and appreciating someone begins with how I love and appreciate myself. I can continually improve what I see in the mirror. Do you want to enhance the image in your mirror? Try starting with self-appreciation.

Until the next time: Live while you live.

Jennifer Goble, Ph.D., LPC, is the author of “My Clients…My Teachers” and the blogger and writer of Rural Women Stories: www.ruralwomenstories.com.

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