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You are here: Home / Newspaper Articles / Somebody has to lose; everybody can’t win

Somebody has to lose; everybody can’t win

Jennifer Goble

Writing this before the election, I don’t know who is president or what political party controls the senate. I hope it is truly over, and we can check off one more event on my “Awful’s of 2020” list.

Like many of you, I have been worried about our country. Very worried. I fear the election being over will not reset civility, compassion, or a sense of, “… love thy neighbor as thyself.” I fear the haters will not deflate but continue to entice new members into their radical groups. I want my old world back when I didn’t care about red and blue, but only red, white, and blue.

As I think about the election outcome, high school sports come to mind. In my opinion, there is nothing worse than a poor loser. You’ve seen it—an athlete elbows an opponent, slams the ball, stomps off the field, or yells at the referees. You’ve likely also watched parents in the stands behave the same or worse.

The only thing worse than a poor loser is a gloating winner. You’ve seen this too—the in-your-face bragger. Winning elevates them to superior—better than everyone else. Bad winners, like poor losers, can run in families. Nurture (behaving as taught) and nature (genetics) can both run deep.

I restricted my use of TV and social media before the election. Instead, I hoped, dreamed, and prayed—I most wanted, no matter who won in the election, peaceful losers and humble winners, allowing us to move forward. I didn’t want us stuck in the muck. If nothing else, life has taught me; somebody has to lose; everybody can’t win.

As a parent and grandparent, I have witnessed hundreds of times the shift kids make to face praise or disappointment after each game and then let it go. Win or lose; they manage to get their head in the next game. They feel their pain or joy for a while, and then they don’t waste energy boasting or drooping around as if the world ended. They know their attitudes drive future success.

My wish involves you and me. I hope we all move forward from this divisive primary election with dignity, whether we won or lost. I hope we reset priorities and help whoever wins to succeed for the benefit of everyone and activate our compassion to support those who lost—all in the effort of unity. It’s what we expect of kids. Let’s show them adults can do it too.

America needs and depends on us to work and live together. Red or blue outcome; I hope we each choose to be respectful and contribute to a more United States.

Closing with a quote from Martin Luther King, Jr, “We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.”

Until the next time: Live while you live.

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Comments

  1. Geri Gittings says

    November 4, 2020 at 8:49 pm

    Excellent comments. If you get the AZ Republic on the opinions page there is an article very similar to what you said. The top article. Both you and that writer wrote things we should all strive to live by. Thank you Jennifer.

    • Jennifer Goble says

      November 5, 2020 at 4:47 am

      Thank you, Geri, I really appreciate your thoughts. I will see if I can find the article.

  2. Marva says

    November 9, 2020 at 4:55 am

    Very well written! Thanks!

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Jennifer Goble, Ph.D. is a rural mental heath therapist, author, columnist, and speaker. Her primary purpose in counseling and writing is to help women and families in rural communities.

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