This past week my cup runneth over with vanity. That is not a good thing. I looked it up, and vanity or pride is one of the deadly sins. It is not a virtue.

My vanity this week revolved around my looking good for a professional picture I needed for my book cover. I began calling local photographers for my “mug shot”. A kind voice answered the phone, and Sandi said she didn’t have a studio but if I couldn’t find anyone else, to call her back. She gave me two references. I called both. One was booked, and the other didn’t answer the phone. I called Sandi back, and we set an appointment. I was to be at her office in one hour.

That is when the vanity started. Voices raced in my head. “What do I wear? My hair is a mess. I hate pictures of myself. What’s my best color? I need different make-up. Should I wear a necklace or a hat? My glasses! It was hilarious and ridiculous and stressful. Thank goodness I had only an hour to panic and not a day or a week.

I arrived at her office on time, racing and frazzled. She calmly took six or seven pictures, and we looked at them on her computer screen.

“I look terrible!” I said.

She assured me that I didn’t, and she asked, “What image do you want to portray?”

“I just want to look like Sandra Bullock!” I answered. She looked at me strangely, and we both laughed.

The truth: her computer program took wrinkles off my face and jacket. It made my hair full where it was flat, and magically I looked just like my mother. I could have taken Millie’s picture from a photo album and saved myself such an ordeal.

I was not proud of myself for being so vain. I certainly know that I have no control what someone thinks of me, but, unfortunately, having knowledge doesn’t always correlate with behavior.

I still don’t like the picture, but I added laughter to the experience. I should have remembered the message in Richard Carlson’s book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.

Dr J’s Comments

It is always good to laugh with and about ourselves. Self-vanity is certainly humorous.