People in concentration camps found hope—so can we

Hope is fundamental to our daily needs. Emily Dickinson wrote, “‘Hope’ is the thing with feathers.” Wings help a bird rise to safety, have fun, fulfill a purpose, enjoy friends, and gain a broad picture of the world. Hope does the same for us humans.

Without hope, we risk its opposite, hopelessness—a shallow, disparaging place. People can feel hopeless when depressed, recovering from a significant loss, involved in difficult or unrewarding relationships, or when life is just happening.

Not having hope is nothing to feel shameful about; it is a cue or clue to get help—talking to a licensed mental health counselor could be what is needed. Having a neutral person listen to where you are, how you got there, and where you want to be is the beginning of self- nurturing—the root for finding and rebuilding hope.

The goal is to gain or regain skills making it possible to live while you live.

Write answer to the following questions for a better understanding of yourself:

What does hope mean to me?
What do I want?
When did I lose hope? What was going on?
When do I feel hopeful?
Who shows me what hopefulness looks like? How does it look?
What was happening in my life when I felt hopeful?
What activities increase my hopefulness?

Change is not likely if we don’t have a clear picture of what drives us. The big picture helps to put the pieces together.

Remember, whatever hopefulness you decide to work toward needs to be within your control. If you hope your spouse becomes more organized or thoughtful or your kids stop fighting, you set yourself up for failure because you don’t have control of anybody but yourself. On the other hand, if you hope for your relationship with your spouse to be more fun and hope for the courage to model conflict resolution for your kids, you have set achievable goals. Success grows hope.

I’m not referring to the “Hope Theory,” where you HOPE for something and sit back waiting for the magic. It takes conscious planning and effort—hard work. For example, hope alone does not land a dream job. One must shower, smile, firm up the handshake, develop good eye contact, write a professional resume, and get an interview. The same is valid for hope–it isn’t magic, but it is possible.

Hopes are unique, and how we maintain feelings of hopefulness are individual. Don’t play the compare game; start with self-focus. Investigate yourself—even without wings; we can rise to higher places where we soar with hope.

There is potential hope even in the darkest despair. We can never give up. People in concentration camps found hope—so can we.

Until the next time: Live while you live.