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You are here: Home / Blog / Counseling / Mental health – a good sense of self

Mental health – a good sense of self

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Know Who You R

Mental health – a good sense of self

We teach people how to treat us. When friends, family, or strangers treat us rudely, invisibly or judgmentally it is because we let them. Internally, we do not believe we deserve to be treated with esteem and respect.

Good mental health begins with a good sense of self.

We need a healthy self-esteem, boundaries that are self-protective, and the ability to say how we feel. If we didn’t learn these things when we were young, we now need to teach ourselves that we are worthy.

We can feel bad or sad because of how we are treated, or we can look at the situation and change.

There is a Native American saying titled “The Indian Way….if someone steals from me, if he attacks me, if he hurts those who are part of me, then I fight, and how I fight? But if he is not wises in the mouth, if he shows his ignorance by saying foolish things, then I lift my head above him and turn my feet in another direction so that my ears can listen to the birds and the water instead of stupid talk. That is the Indian way”

What a beautiful lesson. When we are spoken to with disrespectful words, when we are not appreciated for what we do, and when we receive negativity when we try to do our best, we need to remember the Indian Way. We need to lift our head and turn our feet in another direction.

We can expect treatment that is in alignment with how we treat others. If we treat others poorly we can expect the same. But, if we treat others kindly it is natural to think something is wrong if respectfulness is seldom reciprocated. If we receive what we do not deliver we can turn and walk away.

We can choose to be around people who are supportive and positive.

We can stand up for ourselves. We can choose to avoid situations where we know people judge or disapprove of us.

The greatest gift is to be liked or loved for who we are.

Show people who you are and then expect to be treated like a contributing human being. You deserve no less.

Until the next time: Live while you live

Filed Under: Counseling, Healthy choices, Rural Values Tagged With: disrespect, expect respect, respect, teach people how to treat you

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Dear Dr J

Jennifer Goble, Ph.D. is a rural mental heath therapist, author, columnist, and speaker. Her primary purpose in counseling and writing is to help women and families in rural communities.

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