Managing internal and external chaos

With all the political, economic, and global happenings today, I find it hard to express my thoughts and emotions in sentences. It makes “Say the words” difficult even though I know speaking what’s inside me is vital to my mental health. It’s not as easy as it sounds. The dramatic changes that could initially or permanently affect households across our 50 “United” States are hard to wrap my head or heart around.

Fear is the culprit. It is the center of most angst and, depending on the intensity can cause my words to be muted or aggressive. Being afraid causes me to freeze, fight, or flee. In any of those situations, I cannot achieve my strength. Being anywhere below a five on the line between terror (1) and calm (10) is not where I want to hang out. Below a five, I lose my balance, mental peace, and, ultimately, my range of words. I’m generally logical and reasonable, but I can become the opposite when I’m afraid, and that’s not what it takes to win friends, influence people, or get a good night’s sleep.

Balance and self-care are, again, magic solutions.

Some of my suggestions for managing internal and external chaos:

• Be wise in what you watch and read and who you visit with.

• Attempt to understand the opposing POV. (Point of view)

• Keep your hands and head busy with what brings you joy.

• Replace sitting and thinking with moving, working, or dancing.

• Laugh more.

• Take naps.

• Reframe your opinion to say what expresses your true thoughts, but make your words less abrasive, absolute, and critical.

• Don’t believe every ridiculous comment you read or hear—use your intelligence to determine what is true and what is not.

• Remember Marcus Aurelius’s (former Roman Emperor) quote: “Everything we hear is an option, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.”

• Stay out of conversations you oppose, and walk away when you can’t keep your mouth closed for another minute.

• Remember, your words will not change anyone’s mind, and their words will not change your mind.

• Give your time, action, or resources to beliefs you support.

• Understand the importance of your words—words are powerful and can calm or trigger anger in you and others.

• Meditate, write, pray, exercise—do whatever brings you a sense of hope and relaxation.

• Hug more often—we need twelve hugs a day to maintain. (Just my opinion)

• Put kind and loving thoughts behind your eyes—give your eyes a reason to sparkle. (Try it)

• Remember, we’re all in this together, whether we like it or not. What affects me affects you, and vice versa.

• Smile more–it’s contagious.

• Love yourself first.

Until the next time: Live while you live.

Jennifer Goble, Ph.D., LPC, is the author of “My Clients…My Teachers,” and the blogger and writer of Rural Women Stories: www.ruralwomenstories.com.