I’m sitting in a restaurant as I write this column—the most interesting and insightful of settings. I see couples, families with young children, seeming friends, and servers scurrying and accommodating. I see nobody else sitting alone with their companion computer, as I am.

It’s sad to say that I’m having more conversations than many couples. They are staring at their phone screen, voiceless and utterly unattached to the present moment or the person in front of them. I’m conversing more with the occasional server looking for a thumbs-up than they are with their date, spouse, or friend.

Families with children are different. They exchange speech and movements, and they look into each other’s eyes. They are delightful to watch—emotions, opinions, and concessions are evident even as I watch from a distance. Kids certainly keep us engaged in the moment.

Out-of-home dining illustrates the impact of social media and Google on relationships. As I inhabit the latter end of life and have a better understanding of time’s limits, watching people waste moments they have together saddens me. Time is something we don’t get back. It reminds me of the song “Five More Minutes” by Scotty McCreery. Most of us would give every penny we have to spend five more minutes with someone we’ve lost.

One little rule would help us maximize the time we have with other humans: “No phones at the table!” One simple little rule. How can that be so hard?

I’m a long stretch from innocent. My phone or computer is often my best friend when I’m out and about, as I live alone and do many things on my own. When I’m with family or friends, I confess to searching or looking at the calendar. But I usually keep my phone off the table.

Another thing about phones is that they can be very unsanitary. If for no other reason, we should refrain from touching them while eating.

Another song with a similar message is “Til You Can’t” by Cody Johnson. It reminds us that rain checks are often non-redeemable. As we all know, people can be here one day and gone the next. Both songs mentioned are worth your Google search—the lyrics remind and keep me anchored to what matters. There is little in our busy lives that’s so important that we can’t put our phones down and enjoy whoever we’re with.

Little children show us how.

Mainly, I want us all to be mindful of the one thousand four hundred and forty minutes we have each day. We don’t get them back once they’re gone.

Until the next time: Live while you live.

Jennifer Goble, Ph.D., LPC, is the author of “My Clients…My Teachers,” and the blogger and writer of Rural Women Stories: www.ruralwomenstories.com.

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