As I open my laptop in anticipation of another Friday deadline, the date tells me it’s time again for VALENTINE’S DAY?—oh no—the hype, opportunity, anticipation, stress, and expectations. How can a person win?

I think the expression Less is More applies to February 14th. In curiosity, I looked up the saying. It’s not original to Ludwig Mies van der Rohe, a German architect, but he incorporated the idea of Less is More into his modern designs. He thought that less stuff, fewer lines, simpler textures gave people more peace, quiet, and time for the important thoughts and activities.

I’m on his wavelength—Less is More also applies to Valentine’s Day, as it does to birthdays, Christmas, and other special occasions—but those are conversations for another day.

Valentine’s  Day is the day of showing affection, love, and admiration by giving, doing, and spending.

Really?

As I get older, I become more of a realist or maybe a cynic. I suggest you enter into this Valentine’s Day with the thought of Less is More as you give and receive. Doing that, you will feel more joy because you’re not focusing on what impressive surprise you might get from your lover, friend, or spouse, and whatever “it” happens to be, you will enjoy it more. Expectations can surely ruin our joy.

I survived and enjoyed many Valentine’s Days. I used to think it was MY Valentine’s time to show and tell ME how important I was. As I cycle through life, I know it is about the heart, the thoughtfulness, and the emotional sparkle in each other’s eyes.

If sincerity is the foundation, it doesn’t matter what you spend on red, white, and chocolate.

Someone could give me a new car, like on The Price is Right, and it wouldn’t mean as much as simple things: time, attention, touch, smiles, and sharing dreams, goals, and fears. The real gift is the honor and acknowledgment of having a sweetheart we trust, value, and feel equal with.

There is nothing more important or impactful to share than ourselves—our authentic selves.

So as the red devil, Cupid, spreads pressure and disappointment in his path, smile and say, “Not me, not this year. I know it’s just another day, and my worth is not on the line—the success of my relationship isn’t either.”

How about doing something together—something you don’t ordinarily do: Write a song, tell a joke, share a chocolate, take a walk, dance in the street, play a game.—Be creative and laugh.

Love is about people, not things, and Less can be More.

P.S. Discuss and decide what you both want to do BEFORE the 14th.

Communication is synonymous with success. Surprises are often overrated.

Until the next time: Live while you live.

Jennifer Goble, Ph.D., LPC, is the author of “My Clients…My Teachers,” and the blogger and writer of Rural Women Stories: www.ruralwomenstories.com.

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