I just finished 736 pages of The Covenant of Water, by Abraham Verghese. It is a historical fiction spanning three generations of a Malayali family living in southeast India from 1900 to 1977. It is such a good read for many reasons, but other than his magical spinning of history and family dynamics, I admired the interwoven wisdom. One theme was lies and secrets.

Last week’s column on the topic of peace included not lying as one rule of thumb for tranquility. Most intriguing stories intertwine lies and, therefore secrets. Neither is conducive to the feeling of well-being. Whether it’s your life, a nonfiction or fictional book, or a TV series, untruthfulness contributes to drama and trauma, and one lie leads to multiple lies. Tension grows, and we anticipate the catastrophic ending.

Fear is the main reason for lies. What kid is going to admit to drawing on the wall? Discipline will surely follow. We all do things we’re not happy to admit, but life becomes more authentic when we think before acting, leading to better choices and eliminating the need for deceit.

Some people are addicted to the feelings of urgency. If their world is not in turmoil, for example, living outside their financial means, or doing something they are ashamed of, life feels off. The tightest in their chest and the chaos in their mind is what they believe to be normal. Calmness seems boring, so they instigate arguments or do something stupid, which leads to lies that become secrets. With their normal regained, the cycle repeats. They might also use another addiction to quiet the one they just created. For example, turning to drugs or alcohol to calm their nerves. Gossip is another  avenue for keeping the pot stirred and life in upheaval.

This mode of thinking and living is not in the primary playbook for mental wellness.

One little or big lie can lead to a cascade of exponential lies, which can lead to very dark holes. If you tell one lie to one person, you have to remember who you said what to or what you told whom. Confusing, right? If your story changes and someone notices the discrepancies, bingo, busted, and consequences are inevitable.

Another reason people lie is not to hurt someone’s feelings. Trust me, my feelings are hurt far more if someone isn’t honest. Even kids handle the truth far better than being told a soft story to protect them. Being truthful is often more difficult than lying. But truth involves and includes respect, consideration for others, and the courage to be authentic.

Mark Twain said, “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” With my feeble memory, those words are wise.

Lies contribute to secrets, and secrets kill—just tell the truth.

Until the next time: Live while you live.

Jennifer Goble, Ph.D., LPC, is the author of “My Clients…My Teachers,” and the blogger and writer of Rural Women Stories: www.ruralwomenstories.com.

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