Join me in brainstorming, “What do I want?”

I enjoyed two particular Ted Talks this week. One was “The 4 phases of retirement” by Dr. Riley Moynes, and the other was “The Question I Almost Didn’t Ask And How It Changed My Life” by Rita Wilson. Both struck accuracy as I thought of my own experiences.

Finances are a vital retirement consideration, but we often don’t consider psychological impacts. The topic is relevant because approximately ten thousand North Americans retire daily, and Boomers continue to lead trends.

We spend a good hunk of our lives with a purpose, identity, routine, power, and strong relationships. The last third of our lives is retirement, and with that comes a lot of change. I’ve often said, “Retirement is hype.”

Dr. Moynes’ 4 phases include:

1. Vacation phase—we sleep in, do whatever we want, and travel to places we’ve dreamed of seeing. This phase lasts about a year, and then we ask, “Is that all there is?”

2. Lost and loss phase can be traumatic because it all happens in a relatively short period. We feel the loss of all we had before retirement, but we also have physical and mental loss. Our decline and realization of “Geez, I’m not young anymore” can lead to depression and loss.

3. Do something—We crawl out of the dark hole and search for how to make our lives more fulfilling. We might get a motorcycle, find another job, develop hobbies, get more involved in church, write a memoir, remodel our house, or move to a place that offers many activities. It is a time when we get creative out of self-preservation.

4. Dr. Moynes said that people who move into the last phase are the happiest people he has ever met. It is where people find their mission and sense of accomplishment, and it often includes serving others. One example he gave was the men renting a local farmer’s market booth with a banner, “Old Coots Giving Advice.” He said this phase was exhausting but exhilarating, where we squeeze all the juice out of retirement.

The second TED Talk by Rita Wilson gave a solution to how we might get to Moynes’ phase 4. She said to ask the question, “What do I want?” It’s simple yet complex. It is a huge question we might have believed we answered long ago. When we answer the question and make it happen, she calls the result true happiness, as Moynes identified in phase 4.

You might ask, “How can something so simple help me squeeze the juice out of retirement?” I don’t know the answer, but maybe it’s a guiding question for life.

I think I could/should give it a serious try. Why not? If not now, when? What would I lose? What could I gain?

Join me in brainstorming, “What do I want?”

Until the next time: Live while you live.

Jennifer Goble, Ph.D., LPC, is the author of “My Clients…My Teachers,” and the blogger and writer of Rural Women Stories: www.ruralwomenstories.com.