I’ve been thinking lately about how I take care of myself. I know for sure it isn’t shopping. I had a massage (not message) today, and I was lying there in pure ecstasy, wondering how to do this every day, all day.

Women, in general, have not been socialized to care for themselves. We’re taught as children to take care of our baby dolls, younger siblings, and our pets. Then most of us grow up, take care of our husbands and children, and then our parents. I don’t remember my mother ever saying, “Take good care of yourself now!” We mainly heard, “Do the dishes”, or “Where’s your little sister?, or “You be good!”

Now, all of that is behind me. Only Lucy rules over me, and she’s certainly more interested in her needs than mine.

We need to take care of ourselves. Isn’t that a novel thought?

But how do we do that?

I’m not talking about bathing and fixing my hair, I’m referring to how I feed my spirit, refresh my energy, and put myself first once in a while.

We certainly can’t be selfish! Growing up, that was a big no-no! We could never eat the middle of the watermelon, take the biggest piece of Mother’s fruit cocktail cake, or take more than one piece of anything until everyone got at least one.  As I got older and hopefully a little smarter, I figured out it was, now and then, better to be selfish than selfless. You know, the magic balance rule.

If we don’t put ourselves first, who will? If we don’t, the people we live and work with are more likely to treat us disrespectfully, as if we’re unimportant. That is not good. Remember, we teach people how to treat us, and maybe the way we treat ourselves is the baseline, the example of what we think of ourselves.

I know a woman who demands what she wants, where we eat, what we do, etc., whenever I’m around her. Having everyone bend to her desires doesn’t seem to make her happier or kinder. I’m not recommending we duplicate her actions, ever. But, I have to admit I wish I had a little more of her in me. Where we go to eat, see, or experience doesn’t matter much to me because I truly try to enjoy whatever is going on. It’s the people, not the activity or restaurant that matters—it’s the laughter, conversation, and connections that matter.

I’m not sure what taking care of myself looks like, but I know I need more massages, rum raisin ice cream, and rocking on the patio.

How about you—how can and do you take care of yourself?

Until the next time: Live while you live