How do YOU stay in a range of happy?

Mental Matters
By Jennifer Goble

I’ve been thinking about happiness lately.

A distant relative by marriage died by suicide two weeks ago. He was 30 years old. I heard people speak about him being in a dark place. He was a fire-fighter, EMT, and a medic for the SWAT crew. He was talented, respected, and loved. He knew from experience the pain caused by suicide and had resources for getting help. Each year, he and nearly 44,000 other Americans believe they have no other viable options.

On the morning news, was a redundant reporting of another school shooting. While kids died and parents cried, politicians and other empty voices said, again, “We’re so sorry for your loss! Our thoughts and prayers go out to the victims and their families.” I thought, blah, blah, blah, and turned off the TV. It is like watching the same sick movie over and over again. Nobody has the courage or creativity to change the script.

Happy is a nebulous term, but whatever the definition, happy people did not commit the examples I cited. My questions are: Why aren’t we happy? Why do we carry such heavy burdens and the desire to do harm? People in power choose not to make changes to help, so how can we, the seemingly helpless, help?

I don’t know the answers, but I do have opinions, and they all begin with you and me.

The most I can do to help stop destructive violence is to keep myself in a happy range, so I don’t hurt myself or others. I am the only person who chooses my behavior. The same is true for everyone.

I know I sound like Pollyanna, but change, good and bad, begins with a person. For example, if I live in a healthy range of happy, it is not going to change the world immediately, but, it will keep me from harming myself or someone else. So, I’m not helpless. My mother would say, “She can get happy in the same shoes she got mad in.” I can change from despair and anger to a range of happy, and so can you.

Never underestimate the power of one happy person, especially when it is YOU.

How are YOU going to stay in a range of happy today, this week, and next week, etc., so you don’t harm yourself or others?

Until the next time: Live while you live

Jennifer Goble, Ph.D., LPC, is the author of “My Clients…My Teachers,” and the blogger and writer of Rural Women Stories: www.ruralwomenstories.com.

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