Happiness involves people and effort

We say to people we greet, “Happy New Year,” “Happy Thanksgiving,” “Happy Easter,” “Happy Valentine’s,” and “Happy Wednesday.” When we say “Happy ________,” even though we put little thought into the statement, we are wishing them happiness.

What is happiness, where does it come from, and how do we get it and keep it?

Happiness was the topic of several TV shows after January 1st, and one spoke of two kinds of happiness. One is right now, moment to moment, and the second is enduring—the feeling of a meaningful and worthwhile life.

For myself, I can have happy places like New York City, happy food like the scone I just ate at a local coffee shop, or happy moments like watching my grandkids walk across the stage showing they earned a college diploma. Enduring happiness, to me, is an attitude. If I take care of myself and keep my thoughts in the right place, I feel lucky, blessed, grateful, loved—yes, happy. If I’m in a gray funk and my mind can’t seem to rise above the fog, my happiness shrinks along with hope and overall well-being.

In the article, What Makes a Good Life? Robert Waldinger writes of results found in a 75-year Harvard happiness study. The research involved 724 men and concluded with three primary findings:

1. Social connections are essential, and loneliness kills.

2. It’s not the number of friends you have or whether you are in a committed relationship, but the quality of your relationships that matter.

3. Good relationships protect our bodies and brains.

Summarizing, they found true happiness comes from having meaningful human relationships.

Jon Clifton, CEO of Gallop, author of “Blind Spot: The Global Rise of Unhappiness and How Leaders Missed It.” He writes that 300 million adults in the world live in total loneliness, and he claims loneliness is the reason for global unhappiness. In the interview, he said, “We are experiencing more stress, sadness, anger, physical pain, and worry than in the history of Gallop tracking.” After studying the 20% of people who report having a great life, Gallup found five things they shared. They have:

• Fulfilling work

• Limited financial stress

• Great communities

• Good physical health

• Loved ones they can turn to for help.

He suggested answering, “Who could you call in the middle of the night if you needed someone?” Of those he asked, many said, “Nobody.” He also said many of those were married. How sad is that?

What did I glean from these random TV interviews?

• Find, build, and nurture friendships.

• Be smart with finances—save

• Take care of your health—eat and sleep well, move your body, manage your thoughts

• Choose to live where there are things to do, people to enjoy, and good medical care

• Let the person you would call in the middle of the night for help know.

Short story, even if you’re by yourself, don’t live any day alone—Happiness involves people and effort.

Until the next time: Live while you live.

Jennifer Goble, Ph.D., LPC, is the author of “My Clients…My Teachers,” and the blogger and writer of Rural Women Stories: www.ruralwomenstories.com.