Good WILL hug you again, even though

As I address Suicide Awareness Month this month, I speak to the family and friends who are left to live without their person. I write with the utmost reverence and respect for the life ended and for the families and friends who are suffering and trying to put the pieces together. I don’t pretend to be in your shoes—I write from what I’ve read and heard.

The road ahead will be long and rough. There is not one vehicle that will get you from today to the end of your suffering. There will be rivers to navigate and rocks and mountains to climb. You will break down, run out of gas, endure unimaginable pain, and your faith will waver.

You will try walking, running, and flying. No matter what you try, you will arrive later rather than sooner. You will blame others for your lack of movement. You will laugh and feel guilty. You will progress and then fall back down the cliff to start over. You will be angry that someone you loved caused you to start this journey, one you had no control over. You will be depressed—very depressed.

You will cry as you travel down the road without your loved one. Tears are about anger, and you will be frustrated that the road to your new destination is vague and often inaccessible. You will be hurt intensely because your loved one abruptly sent you down this road. You will be afraid that your pain will never end. You will understandably drown in feelings of despair and unfairness.

The road will often be blocked, and support and skills are needed to remove the obstacles so your journey can continue. Those traveling with you may take different routes, use other tools, and arrive at junctions before or after you. Confusion will erupt, and logic will be intermittent, making decisions difficult.

Life will never be the same.

But, you WILL arrive at your new beginning. You WILL breathe normally again and sleep through the night. You WILL wake up every day and function. You WILL begin to see color and dimension through the cloud and feel happiness again.

Keep hope in yourself; regularly reach out to your support system.

Love yourself, and give yourself time. Go to therapy. Find a suicide support group and attend regularly. Keep busy but also sit by the river; you can find peace in the quiet, and purpose in routine busyness.

Love the one who is gone, but don’t allow your loss to interfere with loving those who are walking with you. Everyone manipulates the terrain differently, but with perseverance, each can arrive.

Good WILL hug you again, even though.

Until the next time: Live while you live.

Jennifer Goble, Ph.D., LPC, is the author of “My Clients…My Teachers,” and the blogger and writer of Rural Women Stories: www.ruralwomenstories.com.