To all the fathers reading this column, I hope your Father’s Day focused on YOU.
I’ve had the privilege of witnessing and experiencing fathers’ unique and invaluable influence on young and adult children. To all the men who have stepped up to the plate and embraced the roles of protector, provider, confidant, and friend to a child, I salute you. Whether you are a natural dad, stepdad, grandfather, brother, clergyman, uncle, neighbor, or teacher, your presence and behavior are influential at many levels.
Men learn how to parent from their fathers or father figures. Positive, effective parenting from both a mother and a father gives children the best odds of growing up to be productive, responsible adults–the goal of parenting.
If any father reading this feels a twinge of guilt, let it go. Give yourself credit for the effort you expend daily on behalf of your kids. Nobody is perfect, but you get a star for being there, caring, and setting a good example. If you want to make needed changes, there’s no better time to start than now. No matter the age, kids mainly need to know you care. Giving them your time is the best way to help them instill a sense of self-worth. Please include them in your daily activities: take walks, skip rocks, watch sunsets, find the Big Dipper, make sandwiches, have them help you work, hug them when they cry, hear their words, etc.
Many fathers, like many mothers, find themselves juggling the stress of finances, job responsibilities, and home maintenance. The demands of life can understandably interfere with parenting. Time and energy can be depleted from the daily grind. Relationships can suffer as other obligations demand time and attention. It’s important to acknowledge these challenges and support each other in finding a balance.
On Father’s Day, I hope all dads and bonus dads took a moment to reflect on their profound impact on their children. Father’s influence is not just significant; it is monumental. Your actions, words, and involvement constantly shape young minds, always watching and learning. Never underestimate the power of your role in their lives.
Your daughter will likely select the father of your grandchildren based on what you have taught her about men. Notice, and you will see how your son watches your every move. Even if you think your kids don’t like you, which is true sometimes, don’t doubt your importance.
I have great dads: grandpa, dad, my kid’s father, son, and son-in-law. They make me feel proud and fortunate. Their actions express their commitment to being loving, supportive dads. I salute them all, and I salute YOU too.
Until the next time: Live while you live.
Jennifer Goble, Ph.D., LPC, is the author of “My Clients…My Teachers,” and the blogger and writer of Rural Women Stories: www.ruralwomenstories.com.
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