Today I realized I have not lived in only one house for sixteen years. I’ve needed clothes, make-up, stocked kitchens, linens, food, and everything else in at least two houses at the same time. I’ve thought about it before, but this is the first time I’ve THOUGHT about it. I now admit I’ve been coming and going with little time for being.

I lived in one house until I was nineteen, another for 30 years on the farm, 6 in the city, 9 in the Old Library, and a combo of 5 since 2010. Now, I live in only two.

I think I’m tired.

Yes, it’s been fun and exciting, and I’m grateful, but I also find that it keeps me a bit unsettled and disconnected.

I’ve always been a bit of a nester, and my home is probably, besides my family, my highest value. It’s where I breathe deepest and live most authentically. It’s where I house my treasures and store my memories.

Letting go of a home and moving is a loss, for sure. It’s a loss even if the move is a positive choice. Life, friends, routines, and familiar comfort also change. It’s a good/bad story.

I’m in the mental process of letting go of my Sterling house. It pains me to put that in writing. This community has welcomed and nurtured me, and it is hard to let go. It supported me through two wonderful businesses, and it’s been my primary “home” for twenty-six years. In Sterling, I’ve always felt like I lived in Mayberry.

I walk to the grocery store,  post office, church, lunch, and ice cream, and I can visit with good friends by stepping out my front or back door. Total strangers wave and say hi to Lucy. What a blessing it has been.

I didn’t start this article as a downer, but it feels a little like that now. It’s sadness, joy, contemplation, and doubt all wrapped in a bag, caught in the tree limb, and blowing in the wind. I guess what survives when the bag breaks is up to me—isn’t that always the way it is? William H. Johnson, an American painter, was correct when he penned the quote, “If it is to be, it is up to me.”

So, like a good soldier, onward and forward.

But I’m not that easy to get rid of, and a lot needs to happen before I’m gone. Moving is just in the mental phase of action. It’s not time for goodbyes, just time to share. I believe in putting thoughts in the universe and then getting out of the way.

How about you? Do you have change thoughts?

Until the next time: Live while you live