When you read this, it is two months after the death of my husband. Those of us in the “Over the Hill” group are likely experiencing increased losses of family and friends, and I thought it might be helpful to offer my experience of the grief process to date. As I write this, I am in Estes Park, gaining insights from the Big Thompson River as it roars and tumbles toward Lake … [Read more...]
Newspaper Column, "Mental Matters" published each Wednesday in the South Platte Sentinel Health Section
What brings YOU joy?
My granddaughter said, “Grandma, we should only buy and do things that bring us joy.” Her sweet and wise statement made me ask, “What brings me joy?” By the way, what brings YOU joy? This morning I walked outside, and the yard was clean and beautiful, and I felt joy. I have to admit neat, tidy, and little clutter brings me joy. I also had a call from the dermatologist with a … [Read more...]
The world needs fathers who have come alive
Theologian Howard Thurman (1899-1981) said, “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” (Not using illegal, immoral, or unethical options) Father’s day is Sunday, and I think kids need dads (and moms) who have come alive: Dads who like themselves and model … [Read more...]
Revisit and revise your thankfulness list
Today is May 26, and Google tells me it is the 146th day of the year, and there are 219 days left in 2021. It is the 21st Wednesday of the 22nd week and the 68th day of Spring. There are only 26 days left until Summer. The beautiful emerald is the birthstone for someone born on this great day, and their Zodiac sign is Gemini. What? Only 213 days until Christmas? The good news; … [Read more...]
I don’t know
We need twelve hugs a day to maintain. a high spirit, a sense of belonging, and a symbol of caring. Whatever a good hug gifts us, during my husband’s celebration of life (the day before this writing), I received enough wonderful, warm hugs to last me six months or more. Thank you! People asked me, “How are you doing?” I said, “I don’t know.” “Where do you plan to live?” “I … [Read more...]
Living the grief cycle
Many people, my age, have lost a spouse. I can spout the steps of the grief cycle from books and classes, but I lost my husband to a long, tough battle with cancer on April 29, and I’m a mess. The books haven’t prepared me for near-total lack of concentration and focus: the mental confusion of where I am in the physical world and zero short-term memory. Numbness makes me worry … [Read more...]
Mental health blossoms on inspiration
Jennifer GobleSometimes I need to be inspired: I get in a thinking rut, ruminate over something stupid I said or did, or can’t recover my displaced optimism. Simple words can inspire me if I pay attention: Eat, Pray, Love (book by Elizabeth Gilbert); Live, Laugh, Love (song by Clay Walker); Relax, Renew, Refresh; Faith, Hope, Family; and Dance Like No One’s Watching (All wall … [Read more...]
Isms are alive and harmful
Jennifer GobleI’m writing this a day after the guilty verdict of Derek Chauvin. The trial brought the conversation of racism to many breakfast tables. I recently watched a movie on the life of singer-songwriter Helen Ready, whose song, I Am Woman, became the women’s movement’s unofficial anthem in the early 70s. The movie highlighted sexism. I then enjoyed marathon watching a … [Read more...]
Help others find their spark, a.k.a. hope
A friend, whose husband had been in and out of cancer treatment for several years, called to tell me she met a woman who told her of a successful alternative to chemotherapy. After a brief recap of her conversation, with joyous excitement, my friend said, “My spark is back!” Her spark is what I call hope. Like magic, someone’s words removed “almost” from the doctor’s previous … [Read more...]
Every day cannot be good, great, or excellent
I couldn’t think of anything to write about this week, so I Googled nationaldaycalendar.com to see if 4-14-21 was a national holiday and could spark my creativity. I discovered the day is a National Day for Dolphins, Ex-spouses, Gardening, Pan American, Pecans, Reach High As You Can, and Look Up At the Sky. I have no experience with dolphins, although my kids swam with them in … [Read more...]
Time to get smart
Oprah Winfrey said about aging, “Every year should teach you something valuable; whether you get the lesson is up to you. Every year brings you closer to expressing your whole and healed self.” I’ve learned something valuable the last six weeks: I don’t bounce. I am glad to announce my closet now owns the walker, brace, and boot that allowed both legs to heal. Hallelujah! I … [Read more...]
Let light shine through YOU
Easter is the Christian liturgical annual central feast; it marks Jesus’ resurrection. Easter, in Western Christianity, is a “moveable feast” in that it is the first Sunday after the full moon and can fall between March 22 and April 25. This year, it falls on April 4, next Sunday. Easter seems to have kept its holy purpose. Churches are full. Pastors admit how good it feels to … [Read more...]
The pain of mental decline
One of my favorite movies is “The Notebook,” with the outstanding cast of Ryan Gosling and James Garner as Noah Calhoun, and Rachel McAdams and Gena Rowlands as Allison “Allie” Hamilton Calhoun. It is a love story about a woman with Alzheimer’s disease and her devoted husband, who reads their story to her every day with the hope of triggering her memory. What I took away was … [Read more...]
Bad things happen to everyone
Life doesn’t lack situations when it forces us to deal with illnesses, accidents, or natural disasters. Too bad we aren’t Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother with a magic wand to help us avoid or fix the unfortunate, inconvenient, and painful happenings of life. We can beg, plead, pray, live like a saint or a criminal, and be a billionaire or a pauper; none of it excludes us from the … [Read more...]
Men we call “Dad”
Today isn’t close to Father’s Day, but my dad, Lee Goble, died on March 9, fourteen years ago, and dads have been on my mind. My research on family systems found dads with only daughters were held in higher esteem than moms. If you imagine a Christmas tree, dads were the star on top. In general, boy’s relationships with dad are different than that of girls. Boys don’t want to … [Read more...]