Roses, hearts, and chocolates—today is the day of love. Whatever you think about Valentine’s Day, it has been a thing since 496 AD, and the history of St. Valentine isn’t a bed of roses—it involves a decapitation. Valentine’s Day started as a religious event and has evolved into a mid-February day for us to spread love to our extra special people.

It sounds easy enough and can be simple, but most people make it more difficult than necessary. I remember cutting hearts out of construction paper, using crayons to decorate them with scalloped edges, XOXO, various hearts, and writing, “Will you be my Valentine?” I signed my name and anticipated giving each one to my friends. It was creative, personal, and fun.

Today, people often feel pressure on Valentine’s Day. What to buy, spend, say?

I promise not to be a Debbie Downer because I think we need more love in our world, and if a commercial retail holiday makes people stop and think about kindness and giving, I’m all in.

It’ s a day to remember, appreciate, give, and receive. It’s a day to let gratitude bubble over. It is a day of loving, not expectations and judging.

Many people in our community, like myself, live alone without a typical Valentine. Yes, it’s a little or a lot lonely. But it is only a day, and we can all get through one day. Thoughts of others having what we used to have give us a chance to reminisce about the good memories, feel the loss, and cry a little. It’s okay. Grief and loss don’t come wrapped in a pretty little box; they come uninvited, fade with time, and appear again with a vengeance. Valentine’s Day, designed around romantic love, can offer the perfect excuse to feel sad and grieve a little.

When he accepted a Grammy for his We Are album in 2023, Jon Batiste, the former band leader for Steven Colbert, said, concerning success, “Be you, that’s it.” I like the simplicity yet the dynamics of his statement. “Be you” says it all, especially for Valentine’s Day. Just be yourself! Ask for what you want, be joyful or solemn, give what you want, and receive gifts with grace and gratitude. Love can be sticky, and trimming Valentine’s Day back to the most meaningful elements is wise.

I wish you a Valentine’s Day built around opportunities to speak with kindness, enjoy like a child, give from your heart, and receive with thankfulness.

Remember, it’s important to expect nothing and enjoy everything.

Until the next time: Live while you live.

Jennifer Goble, Ph.D., LPC, is the author of “My Clients…My Teachers,” and the blogger and writer of Rural Women Stories: www.ruralwomenstories.com.

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