On a Netflix movie, “Tuscana,” a tombstone quote read: “As Extraordinary as Everybody Else.” I liked it because it spoke to equality instead of superiority or disadvantage.

Close to the same time, I listened to an audiobook, “The Highly Sensitive Person’s (HSP) Guide to Dealing with Toxic People.”

The connection between the two might seem strange. Still, the book details the unfortunate truth when living this life with unavoidable narcissists, sociopaths, and abusers, to name a few—people who manipulate and gain power and satisfaction from hurting others. The tombstone message contradicted the toxic person’s goals.

Toxic men and women are anywhere—love relationships, friendships, schools, churches, politics, and workplaces. Sensitive people don’t have to search for a toxic person because the toxic person zeros in on an HSP from across a crowded room. They prey on the vulnerable, the kind, and the trusting. They gain power through sly behavior and create victims.

Knowing the signs of toxic people is essential to avoid them when possible. Anybody is as extraordinary as everybody else; toxic people want us to believe otherwise.

A nonexclusive but basic warning list of toxic people’s behaviors:

Believes telling half the story is not lying

Bragging—a lot— “I do, I am, I have, I know . . .”

Speaks in absolutes: always, never, every, none, all, etc.,

Takes zero to little responsibility for their actions—instead, blames others

Uses negative names or aggressive jabs and calls them teasing or jokes

Changes the subject and diverts the topic when addressing their behavior

Has zero to little empathy for other’s emotional pain—instead, criticizes

Flips from fantastic to horrible, causing you to question your stability and memory

Flips from criticizer to poor-me

You feel afraid and frightened when speaking

Doesn’t like your friends and family

Controls anyway they can, including money

Puts you down in public—embarrasses and humiliates

Comes on strong as the perfect person and pushes for fast involvement

The best action when finding yourself in a work or relationship situation with a toxic person is to step back—limit time in their presence—bring conversations back to the truth and the original point—talk about the situation with people you trust—work and save money to be financially independent—see a counselor, there is no shame in getting help—take good care of yourself and stay strong.

In this process called life, remember the tombstone quote: “I am as Extraordinary as Everybody Else.” Add, “I am also kind, smart, and capable. Nobody can make me feel less-than or inferior without my permission.”

Until the next time: Live while you live.

Jennifer Goble, Ph.D., LPC, is the author of “My Clients…My Teachers,” and the blogger and writer of Rural Women Stories: www.ruralwomenstories.com.

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