Life doesn’t lack situations when it forces us to deal with illnesses, accidents, or natural disasters. Too bad we aren’t Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother with a magic wand to help us avoid or fix the unfortunate, inconvenient, and painful happenings of life.

We can beg, plead, pray, live like a saint or a criminal, and be a billionaire or a pauper; none of it excludes us from the pits and struggles of the unplanned or unwanted. There is no discrimination.

We all carry the weight of struggles. We might think we have it better or worse than someone else, but it reduces to perspective. The intensity of pain is individual, and acceptance without judgment or criticism of those differences helps us recover.

We cannot dodge the unhappiness of life. Maybe we were lucky and didn’t get COVID, or our homes missed the path of tornadoes or fires last summer, but other adverse events could have happened.

Sometimes we cause trauma to ourselves or others. Take, for example, adult children who must take the car keys from a parent or tell them he or she can no longer safely stay in their home. Swapping parenting roles with mom or dad is complex and does not increase one’s chance of becoming the favorite child.

Have you ever left the house in a hurry and been careless backing up or drove over the speed limit. Have you texted while driving? If those decisions have not caused an accident, you are lucky.

Tough times happen throughout life, some are out of our control, and some are self-inflicted. How we deal and recover from unwanted suffering is what counts. When thrown into a victim role, we have to remember what successfully worked previously because those are our coping skills. We all go about surviving or thriving in different ways; what works for me might not help you at all. Some people cry, some scream and throw things, and others go shopping. I work and clean. When the world hands me stress or pain, you can find me doing laundry, vacuuming, or pulling weeds.

Depression and suicides have risen during the past year in all age groups. People struggle more at night, and reaching out to friends and family for support is essential. Remember the Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained counselor who will listen and offer help, all free and within texting’s privacy.

Bad things happen to everyone, and when they do, remember and repeat what has worked in your past, and don’t be shy; reach out to someone who can help you figure out what to do next.

Until the next time: Live while you live.

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