An essential aspect of mental health is the ability to focus on the present or to look toward the future—not to get stuck in the past. Recently, though, I was at events (a funeral, alumni, and a visit to my former home) and was inundated with memories of people and long-ago times. It was refreshing and thought-provoking, and the pictures running laps in my mind have been very positive and pleasant.

I don’t suggest we dilute the present moment with thoughts of yesteryears, but it’s okay and unavoidable occasionally. In my experience, these thoughts are surreal and rich with laughter, freedom, and thankfulness. They also give us the opportunity to reevaluate, forgive, and feel grateful.

Mainly, the three consecutive day experiences provided two reality checks:

My past includes many wonderful people who contributed immensely to my growth, wellness, and happiness.

Down deep, we’re all unique, while we’re all the same.

Sometimes, we forget the impactful people and the moments of pure joy woven into and out of our days, months, and years. We are, in large part, where we come from.

Over the weekend, I was honored to visit and hug teachers, students, friends, and family members. Does it get any better than that? I think not.

So, I write this week full of heart and give credit where it’s due. How sad life must be if and when we lose our ability to remember and celebrate the individuals, the take-our-breath-away moments, and the dots needed to complete and make sense of life’s picture.

One woman of particular joy was the sister of my deceased high school boyfriend. She was the sweetest lady, and I sensed she was as glad to see me as I was to see her. We hadn’t been in the same room in over 60 years and visited as if we had shared tea just last week.

The surreal part was when I needed to look into someone’s eyes to recollect who said hello to me. We all change—our outward appearance can be unrecognizable. If we transform that much on the outside, imagine what happens on the inside. We are the same person, and we have not lost who we were; we are now more than we ever thought we could be; we’re just in a different package. We are now more handsome and beautiful because we have had the time and opportunity to complete our portrait with full spectrum color and detailed lines. We have also shed the pretense and show our authentic selves.

I close this column today with encouragement to balance your time scale. Live today and look to the future, but never discount the value of holding tight the precious people and feelings from former times.

Until the next time: Live while you live.

Jennifer Goble, Ph.D., LPC, is the author of “My Clients…My Teachers,” and the blogger and writer of Rural Women Stories: www.ruralwomenstories.com.

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