A simple quote passing through Facebook resonated with me:

The wrong people
will find you in peace
and leave you in pieces.

The right people
will find you in pieces
and lead you to peace.

One important word in the quote is “find.” Similar to life’s lessons, we usually don’t shop for relationships; they often find us—they show up, develop, or fade away. It’s true, some who find us can leave us in pieces, and some lead us to peace.

Whether referring to family, friends, love relationships, or people connected with those people (yes, confusing—think about it), they leave a mark on our history. They can enrich or damage life’s experiences. We don’t live in a protective bubble, so it is almost impossible to prevent users and abusers or givers and healers from finding us.

Two other essential words in the quote: leave and lead—one is passive and negative, and the other is assertive and positive. One involves fragmentation, and one speaks to completeness.

Envision a 1000-piece puzzle you have three-quarters finished, and someone comes along and knocks over the table. Imagine you as the puzzle. In contrast, think about the person who sits down and contributes to finishing the last quarter of the picture or sets the table back on its legs and begins picking up the mess. You, unlikely, didn’t ask for either person, but one left you in pieces, and the other led you toward peace.

I think the value of this quote is for us to ponder whether we most often resemble the destroyer (leaver) or the helper (leader).

The last two words to consider are right and wrong. A mentally healthy person knows the difference. But right for one can be wrong for another. That’s the kicker. Back to the puzzle, some would love and admire the person who knocked over the table because now they could be back in their familiar confining box. On the flip side, some would look to the helper as suspicious, weird, and not trustworthy. What we do in response to someone’s words or behavior can shift a wrong right and vice versa.

The above example shows how an abuser can feel rewarded. Hence, they hurt and repeat. A helper can feel unappreciated and unwise, causing them to isolate and stop their kindness. It demonstrates how our response to someone’s behavior matters. We do teach people how to treat us.

As for me, I don’t want to be the puzzle who continually starts putting myself back together, nor the person leaving someone in pieces. We have zero control over what others say and do, but we have 100% control over what we say and do.

The best is to lead others to peace as best we can while trying not to leave anyone in pieces.

Such are my thoughts today on words and life.

Until the next time: Live while you live.

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