On this 11th Wednesday and 75th day of 2022, I want to be the first to remind you there are 284 days until Christmas. The good news is it’s only four days until Spring, and it’s the birthday of comedian Jerry Lewis–born under the Zodiac sign of Pisces.

Why is that information relevant? It isn’t. It’s just a lead-in to my topic today, happiness.

Don’t we all want to be happy? How do we recognize when we achieve happiness, get there, and stay there?

I might be happy when I’m alone or have a house full of company, and someone else could be frustrated or anxious in the same scenario. Happiness is defined by feeling pleasure, joy, contentment, fortunate, lucky, and suitable.

Happiness is individual and relative.

On a scale of one to ten, with ten being the happiest, I consider myself partially happy when my emotions rise above a five. I might want a ten kind of life, but I remind myself, ten would be perfect, and perfect isn’t possible.

If I think of happiness as anything above a five, I’m far more likely to feel happy. The broader my range, the more likely I will meet the benchmark—five or above. If I set my standard at eight, I have far fewer moments of happiness. I’m expecting too much.

I’m referring to attitude and expectations. The higher the standard, the narrower the margin of success.

For example, it’s regional and state basketball season. Suppose a player isn’t happy with themselves unless they score thirty points, which is possible but unlikely. In that case, they set themselves up for feeling miserable or incompetent—not pleased, content, or contributing.

During my travels to China, it seemed many people were relatively poor. They had bicycles, not cars, sparse indoor plumbing, and wore nothing fancy. Yet, they spent a lot of time with friends, visiting and laughing. They squatted and waited on buses for very long periods and didn’t show impatience or criticism. They seemed happy and content.

To improve or increase our sense of happiness, we need to identify where we feel happy—think about childhood, teenage, and adulthood. Where in the past and present experiences do we most connect with ourselves and feel peaceful?

Recognizing our happy place provides information for duplicating and increasing our happiness. Knowing when and where we are most happy helps us dissect what feels above a five on a scale of one to ten. Awareness is the first step. Know, understand, and repeat.

On this 86th day of winter, my happiness includes being in Sterling, Colorado, Christmas not being just around the corner, the anticipation of tulips blooming, and reflecting on the birthday of one funny actor.

How about you?

Until the next time: Live while you live.

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