In all my years as a counselor, I found Valentine’s Day to be one of hope and high expectations, often followed by disappointment and hurt feelings. Domestic violence reported on this special day of love is very high. How does a day dedicated to loving turn into pain and tears
for so many? (Always call 911 if you find yourself in danger of harm.)

For many, Valentine’s Day feels like a no-win holiday. It seems you can’t win for losing; no matter what you do, you should have done more. If you bought a gift, it was a wrong choice; if you get extravagant, you spent too much money; If you sent a big bouquet of roses, they should
have spring flowers. If you do nothing, you could be in double-big trouble because there is too much advertising for the forgetting excuse to fly.

Valentine’s Day is an opportunity for couples to give each other time to reflect on their relationship. For example, take turns listing your favorite together memories. This day of love is a time to treat each other special, more special than you would treat anyone else. It is the one day set apart for your significant other. If you are not in a committed relationship, maybe it is an opportune time to reconnect with friends you have neglected. A day of love certainly is not restricted to a traditional man and woman couple. I have spent many a Valentine’s Day with no
“Valentine,” but it didn’t keep me from having a great day with family and friends.

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. The amount you spend is not an accurate measure of your love, and there is nothing romantic about going further into debt.

If you have a significant other, communicate and make plans with him or her before Feb. 14. Together, decide on something that makes you both smile. Be creative. Plan something you’ve never done before. Write a poem, hold hands while you take a walk, make a booklet of
IOUs with promises for kind, fun, and romantic acts, or cook together and have a party for two.

If you have no valentine, be your own significant other. Go shopping and buy yourself a present or do something on your bucket list. Make plans with friends and celebrate being “single.” Laugh a lot and talk about anything but the exes—they are gone for a reason and you
have already cried those tears.

Whatever you choose to make of Valentine’s Day, remember we all need a GOOD love day—you included. Think original and make a plan to help the day slide into history with more smiles than tears.

Until the next time: Live while you live.

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