Happiness contagious but tragedy usually hits harder

Mental Matters
By Dr. Jennifer Goble

Ever wonder why death, tragedy, or acts of violence affect you emotionally when you don’t know the people involved?

The ability to feel empathy is one reason. Another reason has to do with systems, such as family, co-workers, church members, classmates, political parties, etc.

Each member of a system contributes to the activities and emotions within the system.

An example: Imagine a baby mobile that hangs above a crib. If nothing disturbs the bobbles, it hangs relatively stationary. If one item is touched, the whole mobile moves. Each is individual yet connected. One part affects the whole.

Such is life; what happens with other people can affect our mood. We can be functioning relatively well, and when we hear the news of someone’s tragedy, most of us immediately feel something.

We do not live in isolation. A family death, or a child getting hurt affects people in many systems outside the family. One tragedy flows into the lives of others, directly or indirectly.

We cannot be part of a system and be unaffected by the happenings around us even if we do not know the people involved.

Imagine ripples after a stone is tossed into a lake. The circles closest to the entry point are deeper and more defined.

As the ripples move outward, they become further apart, more shallow, and eventually disappear.

Systems work the same way. The closer we are to the tragic event the more intense our reactions. When the event is in another town or another state or even across the globe, the emotions evoked affect us less.

The larger the system and the further away it is, the more cushion we have to dilute the intensity of emotions. We are affected at various levels.

We are members of many systems, and with tragedy in our life or the life of someone else, it is normal to experience changes in mood, sleep, appetite, and energy. Only sociopaths have no concern for people who are hurting.

Happiness is also contagious, but tragedy usually hits us harder.

Final thoughts: When possible, we need to monitor and limit negativity in our homes, such as inappropriate TV, and unkind words.

But, be grateful we are com-passionate and have the capacity to care about others.

Until the next time: Live while you live!

(Jennifer Goble, Ph.D., LPC, is the author of My Clients…My Teachers, and the blogger and encourager of Rural Women Stories: www.ruralwomenstories.com.)

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