Mental Matters
By Dr. Jennifer Goble
Several articles in “Mental Matters” have addressed the subject of anger.
Anger is a secondary emotion and a general word we use to describe fear, frustration, hurt, and unfairness.
This article is about me and frustration. I can say, “I am angry!” More accurately, “I am frustrated!”
Whatever it’s called, pressure builds in the back of my head, my arms, and across my chest. It has been an intense yet sporadic occurrence in my life for five months.
It started on Sept. 16, 2015 when I hired a designer to change my website from book marketing to promoting rural women’s stories. She was referred to me by my original designer, who did a great job, but was too busy to take on another project.
In the initial interview, the new one said, “Oh yes, I can easily do that…I require 50% payment before I start…and I can absolutely have it done by Oct. 8, 2015.
It is now March 2 and my site still has unresolved glitches.
She always had excuses for not doing what she said she was going to do, or for not texting updated information or answers to questions.
Two examples: “I was hit with a ransomware encryption virus and lost everything on my computer,” and, “I don’t work evenings and weekends anymore. I will get it done on Monday afternoon.”
I decided she must not work weekdays either, especially Mon-days.
On the positive side, she has contributed to defining and refining my patience.
My anger is usually triggered by unfairness, but now I know frustration is also a culprit.
I want people to do what they say and say what they do. How hard is that? Keep me in the information loop, and do what you say you are going to do.
I was forgiving of her poor work ethics for months because she had decent skills. Adding to my frustration was knowing she could have addressed all my concerns in five minutes or less. Like the Nike commercial, I wanted her to “JUST DO IT!”
I was also frustrated because I couldn’t “Keep Calm and Git Er Done” myself.
What triggers YOUR frustration (anger)? Figure it out. It will help you dodge or side-step frustrating situations.
Until the next time: Live while you live!
(Jennifer Goble, Ph.D., LPC, is the author of My Clients…My Teachers, and the blogger and encourager of Rural Women Stories: www.ruralwomenstories.com.)
The post Determine what triggers your anger and frustration appeared first on South Platte Sentinel.
Powered by WPeMatico
I’m angry cause I don’t know whether to expect a covered wagon in the graphics representing more of the “pioneer women” or a more icon of more recent time symbolizing rural women. Wait don’t I have to be feeling strongly about the subject to be in an emotional state, either + or – . I guess that leaves me more courious what the famous author and classmate will choose as a design. Yes hiring people usually tests me. Just last week I paid a guy $75 to fix a rusted fuel line on a vehicle, guess who had to do it over right days later. My anger is that I knew I could fix it, just chose to not crawl under the vehicle to do it, but then I had to anyway. It was leaking too much for me to drive the 8 miles back to his place, besides I had it repaired in less time than I could drive there and back, not to count waiting for them to do the work. I could see the guy was not getting the part in correct sealing position when he did it and suggest what I would do. Now I’m getting more mad as I think of the lack of integrity in service today.
Harold, people used to say to me, “You don’t look like a farm wife!’ I finally asked one of them, “What does a farm wife look like?” So my “Millie” picture, named after my mother, is doing a good job for me now. She is standing up for herself, and looking you straight in the eye. Not a woman to mess with:-)
And yes, service has not improved since our “good ole days.”