Written By: Cheryl From: CO

“The value of life lies not in the length of days, but in the use we make of them; a man may live long, yet get little from life. Whether you find satisfaction in life depends not on your tale of years, but on your will.”  Michael Montaigne

***

Mary Magdalene Roland was born at the turn of the century, on the eleventh day of the eleventh month.   In 1911, Mary turned eleven. Her parents, William and Anna Roland, lived in Dahlgren, Illinois.  She bragged of how strong her “little papa” was; then stated that her mother was frail.  From what I have read and photos I have seen, no woman was frail that endured the trials and weather of the Nebraska plains! Anyway, as a young woman I had the wisdom to ask Mary if I could ask her questions about her childhood.  I count it as one of my many blessings to have this story to tell about a woman of substance. (And I highly encourage other young people to do the same with their elders!)

Mary started with, “The Homestead Law had been passed and Papa had relatives who were already homesteaders. In 1909 he sold our lovely home in Illinois. He thought that life would be better for them.  He said that they would not have to answer to anyone but God!”

She told of a train ride to Scottsbluff, Nebraska. On that long ride all she could think of was: how can this desolate prairie be better than the green pastures of Illinois?  Mary’s mother had explained that these prairies were called ‘The Plains.’  Mary said that then she had a new perception of the word ‘plain.’

She went on to tell of how hard they prayed that Papa’s decision was also His will. She went on to say, that she had her doubts, but her mother told her to never doubt God’s will! When they finally arrived in Sioux County area (in western Nebraska) to claim their homestead land, Mary had her first lesson in perseverance.  She told stories of wind storms, cattle dying, and always the struggles just to survive Mother Nature.  She said that when she read stories of Abe Lincoln’s tough childhood to her handicapped son, Jim, they just laughed.

She said, “Old Abe had nothing on us and our hard life!”

If she would have written a book, she would have called it Mary on the Prairie. When the Rolands arrived in Western Nebraska they built a 14 ’by 14’ soddy – cut out of dirt squares from the land. The windows were cut into the dirt walls and wood planks were used for a table. They used shipping boxes for cupboards. She laughed when she told of the cook-stove being too big for the door, so it set outside until they could build around it. Needless to say, no running water!

In the summer, the children could sleep out in the milk house or in the sled under “God’s skylight.” She said that Papa would check on them, and they would say their prayers, thanking God for their many blessings. This important tradition –“count your many blessings – count them one by one,” has been handed down through four generations now.  Twenty years ago, a counselor gave me a ‘gratitude journal’ explaining that I need to list ‘three things a day’ that I am grateful for.

I simply said, “My grandma taught me that when I was very young.”

Whenever Mary would tell a story of this time in her life, she would say that living in those times were like events right out of the Nebraska history books. Then she would add, “Cheryl, if I could I would go back to those old times.”

“Why would you want to re-live such hard times? I asked.

“Because hard times not only make people stronger, they make them more kind-hearted. We were desperately poor – as were most neighbors, but we helped each other out, and became better people in the process. We loved our families, and we always thanked God for what we had. Sometimes when Papa would wonder how we would make it through another cold, rough winter my dear mother would say, “Only by the grace of God!”

At this time in my interview, her contemplation was intent and her recollection was as clear as those sky-blue old eyes. She would hum a few lines from one of her favorite hymns, holding her beloved Bible. Grandma was a true witness to her faith, and she testified to one and all!  And yes, there were those who did not listen, or thought she was ‘carrying on about her religion!’  Interestingly, she did not have a “traditional or orthodox religion.”  She had her Bible and “her friend Jesus.”  Her strong faith had more impact on more people than we will ever know! What I know is that she showed and taught by her example – basically the teachings from Proverbs and Psalms.

* * *

Mary taught in one-room school houses from 1918 to 1921, and wanted to keep teaching but when she married a homesteader the School Board told her that her obligation was to be the wife of a homesteader. She didn’t think that was fair, so she just kept teaching school at home and to anyone who needed any educational instruction. (Today we call that being home schooled.) Four of her seven children became teachers!

I asked her if after being on The Plains most of her life, if she ever thought of moving somewhere else. Once again, the serious contemplation, then, “No one ever asked me that before… when you get to be eighty, you think a lot of your past life. I know I would have done some thinks different – better choices, you know.  And yes, I thought of living some place warm where the wind did not blow most days. I would have liked to continue my education and been a Bible Teacher. But I accepted that was not part of God’s plan, so I tried to live the best life I could with what I was given.”

Mary was not given any ‘bed of roses’ – she was given a hard life on the prairie with a husband’s dream lived out being a homesteader, rancher and father of seven children. She was given the ‘will’ and strength to live a life full of courage and perseverance. She was given many challenges, including raising a handicapped child (caring for him until she was in her 60’s.)  “Only by the grace of God” did she become a woman of substance. This woman, my maternal grandmother, is whose voice (both alive and as an angel) has kept me striving (and preserving!) through life. Mary taught me that life is full of trials and heartaches, but with God in your heart, you will survive all the storms.”

The woman who gave my mother life, gave me the hope of becoming a woman of substance.  If you ever find yourself wanting to give up because the struggle is too hard, my advice is find someone who has persevered life’s storms. Listen carefully to what they have to share.  I am eternally grateful that my young, inquiring mind had the sense to ask my grandmother, “Please tell me your story.”

When Mary Roland Holmgren died (age 82.) The following poem was found in her purse:

“I want a soul so full of joy; Life’s withering storms cannot destroy.

God give us sympathy, common sense, and help us on with courage high.

                                  God give us calm and confidence, and please, a twinkle in the eye!”                               

(Dear God,  Please tell Grandma, I still remember that twinkle in her sky blue eyes.) 

Cheryl Reich/Bills, BSSW/MSC

Daughter of Mary Ann Holmgren/Modlin

Granddaughter of Mary Roland/Holmgren

Dr J’s Comments

Such a sweet tribute to your Grandmother. I too hope she knew how special she was to you. Such is the value of stories. Thank you for sharing!