Have no expectations but enjoy everything

Mental Matters
By Dr. Jennifer Goble

Two days until Christmas. Are you ready? Are you excited? Are you grumpy?

Most people share similar wishes and anticipations for Christmas.

We want to taste the warm apple cider with the perfect dash of cinnamon; feel strong, slow hugs from family and friends; see soft, white snow as it falls gently on glowing holiday lights; smell blazing logs; hear favorite carols; and bubble over with excitement as we anticipate holding and unwrapping the perfect gift from our special someone showing that he/she really cares.

The perfect Christmas.

This is what we want, plan for, work toward, and expect.

Is it any wonder Christmas Eve and Christmas Day come and go and we are left with feelings of exhaustion and relief?

We overdid it – again, and thank goodness it’s over!

Each person is responsible for his/her feelings.

We set ourselves up at Christmas. We expect too much.

We build a Norman Rockwell picture in our mind and then allow ourselves to be sad or mad or hurt when it doesn’t meet those ideals.

It reminds me of Peggy Lee when she sang, “Is that all there is?”

My best advice during Christmas, and other special occasions: Expect nothing, and enjoy everything.

Unfulfilled expectations can cause unpleasant feelings, and unkind thinking.

We expect what is not only improbable, but next to impossible. We try to be everything to everyone.

We formulate ideas on what gifts we’ll get and how family or friends will treat us. And, if we are not careful, we load ourselves down with nasty feelings of guilt, shame, or despair.

What happened to the Norman Rockwell painting?

As you greet family and friends during the next two days, remember my words, “Expect nothing, enjoy everything.”

Expect nothing…from everyone. Show up with a good attitude, and see what happens. You could be surprised.

Enjoy everything! Joy, peace, excitement, etc., are nearly impossible to plan or control. So just expect nothing and enjoy what comes your way!

Expectations can ruin the best of times…don’t take them to Christmas Dinner.

Until the next time: Live while you live!

(Jennifer Goble, Ph.D. is a Licensed Professional Counselor. Check out her book, My Clients…My Teachers and her weekly blog at www.jennifergoble.com.)

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