Looking back, I think I was a challenging (rebellious) teenager. For example, I would sneak out of my bedroom at night, tap my girlfriend’s window, wait for her to come out so we could meet up with our boyfriends who had cars. Getting back to my room was easy because the basement steps were concrete and didn’t squeak.
My dad slapped my face one time, and although I don’t remember what I said, I’m sure I deserved it. He never slapped me again, because I watched my mouth.
I was raised at a time when parents didn’t have Dr. Spock telling them not to spank. There was no Social Services or Child Protection. What? Protect children? Children were to behave and work.
Parents and teachers ruled, and I knew better than to get in trouble at school. My parents knew how to use a razor strap – and it was not to only sharpen razors.
I had consequences for behav-
iors my parents did not find advant-ageous to the family reputation. I was lucky to not always get caught, but it only took once to learn what I had better not do again.
That was a different time, for sure. It must have been easier to be a parent and a teenager back then. Parents could demand whatever they wanted and kids could conform or rebel, but the latter was very painful.
I had more fun than I should have, but I didn’t harm anything or anyone. I knew the rules, even if they were unspoken, and my physical wellness always had a correlation to my choices.
Today, not so much. I think it is difficult for current parents, teachers, and teenagers. Parents and teachers have total responsibility, but little authority, and kids do not always know when to apply the brakes on their rebellion because rules are often fuzzy and flexible.
In my perfect world, we would find a balance between the two generations. Most kids are no more rebellious than I was, but parents and teachers, not teens, need to rule.
Teens would know what consistent consequences would happen if their natural rebellion pushed one inch too far. They would also learn rules are created out of love, for them, as are consequences.
One has to dream!
Until the next time: Live while you live!
(Jennifer Goble, Ph.D. is a Licensed Professional Counselor. Check out her book, My Clients…My Teachers and her weekly blog at www.jennifergoble.com.)
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