Do you have pet peeves? I have two: lying and trash.

I wonder why people lie, and why they choose to leave trash in their paths? Obviously, people lie for many reasons. Probably the most common is not to get punished for something they’ve done. I understand telling a lie if your life is in danger. An example is the three-year-old in the cookie jar. Their little concrete minds cannot analyze the situation—mom’s anger feels like their death. As adults, that excuse doesn’t work. Years ago, when I was late for something, I would blame the traffic, the kids, or the weather. Today, I tell the truth: “I’m sorry I’m late, I didn’t allow enough time.”

In times past, if I didn’t want to do something, I would make up an excuse. Today, I would say, “I really don’t care to do that,” or “I’m sorry, but I just need a night at home on the sofa.”

In counseling, if a person lied to me, they left my office with no helpful tools. I couldn’t offer valid solutions when I didn’t get accurate information. The same is true in friendships or romance. A rich connection is not possible without trust built on honesty.

As for trash, I’m critical of people who throw trash out of their car windows, don’t clean up after their dogs,

 toss candy wrappers on the ground, leave dirty diapers along the side of the road, and don’t clean the campground or picnic area even when trash receptacles are nearby. Or, what about the people who pile junk all over their yards with no consideration for their neighbors or the community?

When Lucy and I go to the post office, a five-block walk away, I can fill a grocery bag with trash and still have two blocks to walk. I’m talking every day in Sterling, Colorado, and in those blocks are three to five public trash cans, depending on my route.

My mental health would be healthier if I didn’t give a hoot or if people just told the truth and appropriately disposed of their own trash. In the long run, if I could not hear or see, I guess it wouldn’t bother me. But, in the shorter term. My brain would be a lot quieter if everyone would bend to my standards.

Guess what? That’s my fantasy, not reality.

So, you see, as always, my pet peeves are my problem. I have no control over others, only myself.

What pet peeves contribute to your disturbing list? What can you do to improve yourself? You are the only person you truly control.

As for me, I can speak my truth and not litter. It helps my mental health.

Until the next time: Live while you live.

Jennifer Goble, Ph.D., LPC, is the author of “My Clients…My Teachers,” and the blogger and writer of Rural Women Stories: www.ruralwomenstories.com.

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