I recently heard someone use King Maker in a sentence, and I asked what it meant. They explained with an example: Take Apple, for example—all of us using Apple products have made them a King of the tech world. We buy their phone, then we buy their cords, and then their compatible iPads and computers. The same applies to Amazon, Google, Walmart, etc.  We have each likely contributed to these King companies because we give them our money for their product or service. As those companies grow, others shrink and often disappear.

Is that good? Bad? Neither? I think it’s just the way it is.

Election ballots will soon be in our mailboxes, and our votes are King (Queen) Makers.

I’m in the business of people, and we are all, hopefully, King Makers—meaning we sincerely tell friends, family, and even strangers what we notice about them, which is positive and elevating. For example: “That three-pointer you made in the third quarter was impressive!” “Thank you for your dedication; we are better because of you.” “You are such a good listener.” Simple, accurate, and impactful.

When I was in the first grade, my teacher, Mrs. Schmidt, told me as she taught us to use scissors, “Jennifer, you are such a good cutter.” She was a King Maker, and I still remember how her words lifted me all these decades later.

I tell you about Mrs. Schmidt because her words were not sophisticated, just real. But they made a little girl feel like she had some worth.

Our world, our daily mixed-up world, needs more King Makers. We can rise to that level by sharing a smile, holding a door, telling the clerk at the gas station you appreciate the clean restroom, stopping so a car can merge onto the street from the parking lot, leaving a good server an appreciative tip, telling someone thanks for being helpful, or just listening when someone speaks.

Apple became a leader in the tech world by offering quality products that people wanted, including free service. They were consistent, and I, for one, trusted them to help me navigate the foreign world of buttons, dings, swipes, and apps. I guess we were both King Makers.

I encourage you, my readers, to think about who is a King Maker for you and who you are a King Maker for. Acknowledging how small acts and words can influence someone’s day or life is powerful. Remember Mrs. Schmidt, the kind little gray-haired teacher who wore heavy black tie-up shoes and dresses made from flowered cotton with shirt collars and fabric belts. She was a King Maker, and we can be one too.

Let’s do it.

Until the next time: Live while you live.

Jennifer Goble, Ph.D., LPC, is the author of “My Clients…My Teachers,” and the blogger and writer of Rural Women Stories: www.ruralwomenstories.com.

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