As I write this morning, a wildfire is burning close to Loveland. Isn’t it interesting how news can trigger fear, compassion, and worry in a nanosecond? The smoke billowing in the sky fed thoughts of what I should do and people I feared could be affected. I was also thankful and in awe of the firefighters who stepped up to help and the aviation masters who flew above spreading retardant and water.  My mind jets up, down, and all around, mostly involving the worst possible outcome. I find it hard to focus on anything else.

It’s like Lucy, who zooms around like a crazy little thing when someone visits, and then she settles down.

After the fire confirmation and a bit of panic, I settled into the mode of calming self-talk, such as, “Wait and see—there is nothing I can do except listen to the news and prepare for the wind shifting or increasing if it does.”

Sometimes, we respond to feelings instead of the situation’s reality. The reaction or feeling can be more traumatic than the event. For example, when I heard of a fire close to me and people I knew, I had similar feelings to when I was on my way to work and listened to the news of 9/11.

That is just one example, but it happens often with most of us. We react to the emotion and not the actual event. It’s the same feeling but a different story.

I’m not minimizing any event. I’m just saying that whether it’s a nearby wildfire, a near auto accident, medical news, the phone ringing in the early morning hours, or someone’s anger, feelings are often connected to past trauma. Whatever we do to get back to our logic is the magic tool for managing stress and moving forward with wise choices.

I call it a shift—a shift in our thoughts. We must activate the excellent computer we call our minds and deflate our fears with options and information. If we don’t, our debilitating emotions grow out of control, and no good comes from that.

Fear can keep us safe initially, but good common sense helps us plan and implement a course of action—a more productive scheme than remaining in potentially paralyzing emotions.

Sometimes, when I can’t sleep or feel the angst in my chest, I ask myself, “When did I feel like this before?” I then think back to other experiences with similar feelings, and often, I get insight into knowing that my present reaction has much to do with a past flight, fight, or freeze event.

The connection puts perspective into the situation and helps my body relax so my mind can shift and move forward.

Until the next time: Live while you live.

Jennifer Goble, Ph.D., LPC, is the author of “My Clients…My Teachers,” and the blogger and writer of Rural Women Stories: www.ruralwomenstories.com.

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