Today, Jan. 15, is National hat, strawberry ice cream, and bagel day. Isn’t it nice creative individuals designated celebrations for the middle of this long slow month? Christmas Hallmark movies still entertain and help me escape reality, and show numerous lovestruck men on one
knee presenting little hinged boxes holding sparkling dreams. We also had a grandson’s wedding last weekend. Both made my heart pitter-patter with idealism as I pondered their future.
A 2019 job description for an executive assistant to a CEO came to mind. The following is a tiny example from four pages of required duties: “Household tasks and errands, responding to mail…travel planning and coordination…sharp and confident…excellent rapport-builder…
savvy thinker with outstanding verbal communication skills…not a 9-to-5 job—work hours include evenings, weekends, and holidays…top 2% of organized people…create clarity out of disorder…hold the CEO’s business, personal, and family interests with the utmost confidentiality…get along incredibly well with the CEO…think for the CEO…navigate, juggle, and organize a huge volume of details…confident and a ‘go getter’ who does not wait for things to happen, but makes them happen…make sure things do not fall through the cracks…loves technology and uses it well…honest, authentic, candid, and forthcoming…get-it-done attitude…health-conscious…open to personal/spiritual development…emotionally mature…relaxed and lighthearted when things go wrong…handle high stress…willing to do
whatever it takes…upbeat, positive attitude…high transparency and open information sharing…solve problems quickly…high regard and trust…impeccable spelling and grammar.”
Ridiculous. Right? I’ll bet the CEO thought she or he could find such an applicant, and the person looking for a job likely thought she/he could successfully perform the wishlist. Unfortunately a hopeful overachiever can mistakenly say yes to an unrealistic boss.
The CEO might as well have included birthing and raising three perfect teenagers because I think she or he must have been looking for a wife. Then, in my cynicism, I realized the position included a salary, medical and dental, profit sharing, continuing education, and a 401K. Those are not secure benefits for a wife—or a husband. Nobody is superhuman and capable of successfully performing all of the duties described in the above, partial job description. I do know many people who have tried, in marriage and careers, only to feel a failure.
Do you think this could be what a young man expects from a wife? A wife from her husband? Oh my, oh my, oh my. Expectations are out-of-whack with reality. I certainly hope a young couple has an equal partnership in mind and has shared their visions before they say,
“Yes,” and “I Do.”
Whether you agree or disagree, I hope you encourage men and the woman to have a clear and equal definition of the marriage commitment and express it to each other before the happy day.
If all singles, no matter their age, wrote a clear job description for the spouse they wanted, maybe marriages would be more fulfilling. Clear and reasonable expectations could be possible instead of ridiculous.
Until the next time: Live while you live.
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